My Problem With Racoons
We call them coons in this neck of the woods. And where I grew up, yes it was actually woods, coons were (and still are) a problem. Sure they look like cute little banditos, but they are big fat mean angry smelly pests. They get into the garbage, they have sex under the porch, they climb all over the roofs, they wash food in the pond, they go up against the cats, and the dogs, and the occasional small child.
I remember one particularly funny coon incident. I was out visiting my mother and I had purchased some new beauty products on my way. I have a bit of a "smelling like food" addiction. There was some cinnamon bun shampoo, vanilla perfume, that kind of thing which I left in the car. Anyway, that night the racoons, hilariously, climbed into my car looking for the food. They upended the whole darn vehicle, got inside everything and left muddy paw marks everywhere. No food. To this day I am amused by the very idea of how frustrated they must have been.
"Where is it? I can smell the cinnamon! And the vanilla! I can smell it, Joe, I swear! It's taunting me!"
So, this Sunday I was out on the bike and dumped her at low speed because of, you guessed it, a raccoon. This one was dead in the road and I braked too hard, didn't want to put my foot down on the dead coon, and just went right over. Stupid in someone who's been riding for 18 years. Nothing major wrong except that 500 lbs of bike landed on my left ankle. (Poor Carmen lost her gear shift and a bit off the clutch, some scrapes here and there but otherwise fine.)
So I'm laid up this week with a sprain, which turns out to be a good thing. Nothing to do but edit. Well, and winch on at you lot about coons.
Speaking of which, back to the editing mill for me.
Pip pip, and watch out for those racoons!
GAIL'S DAILY DOSE
Your Tisane of Smart . . .
Tiny Tech
Your Writerly Tinctures . . .
Four Types of Dramatic Tension
PROJECT ROUND UP
Deportment & Deceit ~ The Finishing School Book the Second:
Second draft read through.
Etiquette & Espionage ~ Finishing School Book the First: Release date Feb 5, 2013. Working promo schemes.
Manga ~ Soulless Vol. 2: (AKA Changeless) First chapter reviewed, drops on YenPlus April 12th. Print release tentatively Dec. 2012.
Timeless ~ Parasol Protectorate Book the Last. Out now!
Prudence ~ The Parasol Protectorate Abroad Book the First:
Release date Fall 2013.
Book News:
Interviewed over on Sirens of Suspense.
Quote of the Day:
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
~ August Strindberg (1849 - 1912), A Madman's Diary, 1895
calmI remember one particularly funny coon incident. I was out visiting my mother and I had purchased some new beauty products on my way. I have a bit of a "smelling like food" addiction. There was some cinnamon bun shampoo, vanilla perfume, that kind of thing which I left in the car. Anyway, that night the racoons, hilariously, climbed into my car looking for the food. They upended the whole darn vehicle, got inside everything and left muddy paw marks everywhere. No food. To this day I am amused by the very idea of how frustrated they must have been.
"Where is it? I can smell the cinnamon! And the vanilla! I can smell it, Joe, I swear! It's taunting me!"
So, this Sunday I was out on the bike and dumped her at low speed because of, you guessed it, a raccoon. This one was dead in the road and I braked too hard, didn't want to put my foot down on the dead coon, and just went right over. Stupid in someone who's been riding for 18 years. Nothing major wrong except that 500 lbs of bike landed on my left ankle. (Poor Carmen lost her gear shift and a bit off the clutch, some scrapes here and there but otherwise fine.)
So I'm laid up this week with a sprain, which turns out to be a good thing. Nothing to do but edit. Well, and winch on at you lot about coons.
Speaking of which, back to the editing mill for me.
Pip pip, and watch out for those racoons!
GAIL'S DAILY DOSE
Your Tisane of Smart . . .
Tiny Tech
Your Writerly Tinctures . . .
Four Types of Dramatic Tension
PROJECT ROUND UP
Deportment & Deceit ~ The Finishing School Book the Second:
Etiquette & Espionage ~ Finishing School Book the First: Release date Feb 5, 2013. Working promo schemes.
Manga ~ Soulless Vol. 2: (AKA Changeless) First chapter reviewed, drops on YenPlus April 12th. Print release tentatively Dec. 2012.
Timeless ~ Parasol Protectorate Book the Last. Out now!
Prudence ~ The Parasol Protectorate Abroad Book the First:
BIG FAT SPOILER ALERT on the Parasol Protectorate series! Really, DON'T READ THE BLURB ON AMAZON if you haven't read the other books first!
The Omnibus hardback editions are limited run through the SciFi Bookclub only.
The manga editions, Vol. available in print, Vol. 2 by subscription to YenPlus.
Most short stories available in ebook form world wide!
The first Finishing School book ~ Not yet Released
Book News:
Interviewed over on Sirens of Suspense.
Quote of the Day:
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
~ August Strindberg (1849 - 1912), A Madman's Diary, 1895
Hope your ankle and poor Carmen will be alright soon again, and thumbs up for editing!
PS: [...], they have sex under the porch, [...] <- *LOL*
Our rural neighborhood is infested with raccoons. They are the Mission Impossible agents of breaking into trash cans. Anything edible and not locked down, they will get into. When we put up bird netting to protect our ripening grapes, they reached through the netting and gobbled down the entire harvest. Needless to say, they are not our favorite critters. At all.
In their favor, they do not sweep through the neighborhood, snacking on the entire population of outdoor cats, which coyotes do periodically.
Fortunately I can learn from the mistakes of others.
I send my wishes for a speed recovering of your ankle,I hope you will get better soon.
Hope you recover quickly!
Hope you ankle gets better soon! Which kind of bike do you ride?
A Triumph Bonneville?
Smelling like sweets
When I went camping with my friend, she made me leave my scented lip gloss in the bear locker. Just in case.
Just a Randome Someone Liking Your Oeuvre
Well, if ever there was an annoying salutation, there you have it!
So, I normally keep my own council, but hey, now's a chance to pester some utterly unknown person with how much I like their work.
Just recently bought "Soulless", without really knowing much about it, the entire series or the author. Just have to say
1) I liked steampunk more than I thought I previously did. Allot actually. Or perhaps it was the frequent tea breaks that I fancied… Haven't worked that out yet. Love your way with words and imagery. You DO know how to work them!
2) The fact that you're a degree-junkie turned archaeologist, err turned writer of fiction… Oh… you don't know what a big ole' inspo-kick that was! I'm a couple of chapters away from coming out of the shameful writer-of-fiction-closet, after ridiculous amount of time spent at uni collecting purdy degrees. What the devil for?! (Well, I know what the devil for, but we don't need to spell it out.)
Right, rant (thankfully) over. :) All the best (and hope you've had a 'coon-free recovery)…
Kind regards,
Zoë
Re: Just a Randome Someone Liking Your Oeuvre